what are the odds of one true love? you say 'high,' but i have my doubts

what are the odds of me letting you down? please don't cry, it's just your love... it creeps me out.

So, after screaming myself hoarse and throwing my deodorant at my step-"father" I have decided to make a gratitude list. The negative things are trying to get me down again. Here's some positive ammunition:

I am grateful:
-that I have a wonderful mother whom I can always count on
-that my most traumatic experiences have provided me with both strength and money
-that I will likely not have to take out any student loans (so grateful!)
-that I own a reliable car and can go pretty much where ever I want
-that I spent eight months going to UBC, because I learned a lot about what I need to live and not just survive
-for my self-awareness
-that I don't need a man to make me feel worthy
-for my mixed heritage, because being a visible minority makes life a bit more interesting
-that my body functions almost perfectly
-for the theatre people at Malaspina, because they're just what I needed
-for alcohol
-for weed (though sometimes it makes me too mellow)
-for my little old dog, Georgie, because she's been around through so much
-for movies, because sometimes they are art
-for tv, because sometimes I need to zone out
-for laughter, because I would be suicidal without it
-for all my clothes
-that I didn't lose money when I was illegally kicked out of my home
-that I can look back at interactions and learn from them
-that I have learned so much lately
-for hugs
-for music
-that I live in Canada
-that I always have the money for food
-for theatre work, especially props, because it brings out my happy inner geek
-for the internet, because it opens so many doors and windows
-for backrubs
-for loyal friends
-that I am intelligent and don't have a problem doing schoolwork, when I get around to it
-that I know proper grammar and spelling most of the time
-for warm blankets
-for dairy products under the influence
-for beautiful churches, because people don't realize their potential
-for the colour red
-that I can see all the colours
-for all my senses
-for pasta
-for my new glasses
-for imagination
-that there are people who are true to themselves, and I am one of them
-for learning about people, because they are endlessly fascinating
-for pants, because wearing skirts and dresses all the time would be a major drag
-for electricity, duh
-for cats and purring
-for cuddles, whenever I get them

There's more, but this feels like a good start.