I'll make my way across the frozen sea, beyond the blank horizon, where I can forget "you and me" and get a decent night's sleep.

I feel trapped lately. Stuck in a rut, I guess. It's this whole endless divorce. I'm very frustrated and have been for months. It's starting to seep into the rest of my life, a constant weight that I can't do anything to relieve. ARRRRRG. It all feels so repetitive and school stuff is creeping up. I don't know what my group is doing for Theatre History, that's due next week. I can't think of what I want to happen in my outline for my play for Creative Writing. It's been forever since I vacuumed out my car. My dog needs a haircut. There's laundry to be done. I keep missing my workout time and eating gross amounts of food. Helge still lives here, only he's been sleeping away from home more often and we think he's got a girlfriend. Or, rather, a fuck toy, because I'm sure there's no respect in the "relationship." I've got to come up with a presentation proposal by 6pm for my Media Studies online course. I haven't memorized my lines for my scene on Monday in Acting. I just want something to ground me right now. All I'm getting from the tarot is "open up, let go, feel everything, there is great change." It doesn't bloody well feel like anything is changing! I feel like kicking a wall in or smashing something. I've been so fucking angry for so long and I'M SICK OF IT. I just feel like I don't have secure roots to stand on. Everything is up in the air and I don't have control over one of the most important things in my life. I'm trying to convince myself to look on the bright side, that I deserve more than this, but it's hard to do when I'm feeling lost and alone and the most frustrated-- no, not frustrated, something more than that... LIVID-- I've ever been so far. But instead of curling up into a dark little ball of emo angst, I've got to figure out what to do my goddamn proposal on.